Lactivists, Intactivists, Wear-my-baby-on-my-backtivists, and other Fear Mongers who Prey on Parents (Part One)

I will address these one at a time.

Lactivists

I understand that you are well meaning. I understand that "breast is best." Heck, I breastfed my own children. I get my panties in a wad though when you accuse people who formula-feed of being lazy or bad parents. It isn't poison. There is a whole generation of people who managed to survive to adulthood and make something of themselves despite not being breastfed. They're called baby boomers. There's a lot of them. Almost all of them were formula babies, and that was back when formula wasn't near as advanced as it is now. I have never personally been able to walk up to a person and say, "Gee, you seem really healthy and smart. You must have been exclusively breastfed as an infant." Outcomes, people. Outcomes. And I get really worked up when you think you need to whip a feedbag out in public without covering up. Whine all you want about how it's a natural function and babies don't want to eat under a blanket and breasts shouldn't be so sexual. That's bullshit. You are a button-pusher. You know what else has a natural function that isn't sexual? A penis. But if a man needs to take a leak and decides to do it in a bush somewhere, he's a pervert. Next point- babies regularly sit in their own urine, feces, and vomit stained clothes with big ole grins on their faces. They have been hanging upside down, wadded up, naked, and wet for most of their existence. They like being swaddled. Being closed in does not bother them. They also can't see very far- their eyes are just not developed enough until quite a while after birth. They do not care where they are, as long as they get a meal. Cover up. Third- in western culture, breasts are sexual. They just are. Deal with it. Odds are, you sexualize them yourself. Do you own a pretty bra or a shirt that shows a bit of cleavage? Do you let your partner motorboat you? Do you wear a shirt? Then you are a participant in the sexualization of breasts. It makes people incredibly uncomfortable when you just undress in a restaurant. Do you like it if someone just starts smoking right next to you? Do you bring a bottle of wine to dinner with a recovering alcoholic or a Baptist? Of course not! Even if you think it's completely wonderful and natural, respect the people around you.

Plus, nobody wants to see your ginormous nipples or listen to your baby spurt and gurgle, or, oh God...accidentally get sprayed.

I think I may spit up now.